Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Re-crafting Aldora's Writing

Today we practiced re-crafting a piece of writing. The first paragraphs belongs to Aldora, and the second is mine.

“On your marks, get set, “Bang” shouted Mr Burt. Off we went trying hard not to bang into each other. I was already muddy. Luckily I didn’t slip like some other girls did at the start line.

Standing at the start line, I waited nervously for Mr Burt to sound his clapper. “On your marks, get set, BANG!!!, shouted Mr Burt. As I set off towards the bushes, I tried not to crash into the other competitors. Passing my friends, I tried not to slip.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Sosaia,

    I liked how you re craft on about Aldora's cross country story It is really cool. You could of explained more about sliping.


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